Future Mother-In-Law Refuses to Accept Adopted Granddaughter as a Family Member, Then Demands They ‘Bring Her Back'

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 20, 2024 2:00 PM EST

What does the term 'family' mean to you? Is a family a collection of individuals related to one another by blood? Are members of a family an integrated group that shares unwavering love for one another?

The following story is about a betrayed fiancé. OP plans to get married to the man of her dreams in the upcoming months. Tragically, though, OP's best friend passed suddenly, leaving her to care for her five-year-old daughter Ellie. Without hesitation, OP assumed the position of Ellie's mother and thought of how to incorporate her in the wedding reception so as to make her feel special and cherished.  However, despite the couple's best efforts to do right by their friend, OP's mother-in-law is unable to welcome Ellie as a new family member and can't seem to find room in her heart for the young child. From that point on, as you could have expected, things got fairly heated. So, having said that, if you're interested in learning how OP responded to her mother-in-law's rejection of Ellie, read the story below! And when you're done, check out the story about the aunt who refuses to address her twin nieces by name!

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  • 01
    I immediately snapped, feeling outraged by her comments. Ellie is my godchild, and I will always care and love her.
    via Canva
  • 02
    AITA for telling my mother-in-law that she isn't allowed at our wedding ceremony if she can't accept the fact my daughter will be the flower girl?
    via u/kdea05
  • 03
    I (25f) am marrying my high school sweetheart (26m) we decided to finally tie the knot after nearly 7 years of dating. I truly love him, and thankfully get along with most of his family. Expect for his mum. She is continuously nagging at me for not giving her a grandson, I
    via u/kdea05
  • 04
    know this may be harmless however my fiance has repeatedly told her that she already has a grandchild. My baby girl (5), she's my best friend's daughter. They sadly passed away, she was my godchild so it only felt right that I should take her in and bring her
    via u/kdea05
  • 05
    up in a way I knew her mother, my best friend, would want. Recently, we have begun getting bridesmaid dresses etc. We both decided to make our newly found daughter a flower girl, she loves flowers and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to help her
    via u/kdea05
  • 06
    feel like we take her as our own. At a recent family gathering my fiance's mother has non-stop been horrible to my baby girl, let's call her Ellie, saying things like, "I simply don't understand why an adopted child should take the place of a true blood" Which simply made my blood boil, along
    via u/kdea05
  • 07
    with the many other comments she made. I pulled her to the side asking her to tone down her comments knowing how much this meant to Ellie, she kept saying I was being to my new family by making someone who (in her eyes) has nothing to do with me.
    via u/kdea05
  • 08
    I immediately snapped, feeling outraged by her comments. Ellie is my godchild, and I will always care and love her. She seemed hurt at my words, but I didn't care. Immediately taking me and Ellie out of her house, when my fiance came home he was confused as
    via u/kdea05
  • 09
    his mother had said I was being verbally ab ive towards her and making thr__ts. I did no such thing. Anyway, a few days passed and Ellie was upset as she noticed we hadn't seen her cousins who were staying with my fiances. Shoving
    via u/kdea05
  • 10
    all my anger up my a, I finally decided to try to apologize and head to her house once more. All was fine until I heard a horrid scream, rushing up the stairs I saw Ellie crying whilst my fiances's mum was standing screaming at her while holding her teddy which
    via u/kdea05
  • 11
    her mother made. They are inseparable and I know how much that means, it's a struggle to even wash the teddy, and I immediately snapped once more at her. She stood embarrassed as the whole family had gathered. She then gained confidence saying she was
    via u/kdea05
  • 12
    upset that I had chosen "fake blood", over "real blood". I think you can choose family, and a friend can be better. "Real family) then your own, I was upset watching Ellie crying as my husband grabbed the toy taking her away from the heated situation. I finally had enough,
    via u/kdea05
  • 13
    saying if she has so much problem with her being the flower girl. She might as well skip the wedding and just join us for the reception. She began crying, and I did feel bad but I wasn't going to take back what was said. After leaving the "family" has been telling my husband to tell me to
    via u/kdea05
  • 14
    apologize, and they aren't messaging me as what I said was harsh. I find that bogus but whatever. AITA?
    via u/kdea05
  • 15
    Bonnm42 4 days ago NTA your Fiancé needs to deal with his Mother. As much as it right now, I think you just did yourself a huge favor. By standing up for your daughter and yourself, especially in front of his other family members, you just took away your
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 16
    MIL's biggest manipulation tactic. She now knows her using her family against you, won't work. Don't apologize. If anything I would double down and send a mass text saying something like "My daughter has already been through
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 17
    enough when she lost her biological parents, my best friend. She neither needs, nor will I allow, ANYONE to make her feel like she is not apart of the family. This is a HARD boundary for me, and as such, is beyond contestation. My
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 18
    MIL was screaming at my daughter while taking away her teddy her dead parents gave her.. if any of you don't see anything wrong with that, than I do not want to be family with you. My MIL owes me an apology, I will not allow
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 19
    the family to try and bully me into apologizing when I did nothing wrong. This wedding is about Fiancé and I's life together, she is our child, it is asinine to think she wouldn't
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 20
    have a major role. Family should support each other, but they should also call out p s poor behavior, especially when it is against a CHILD."
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 21
    Far-Sink-2204 . 4 days ago If your fiancé isn't 100% backing you up on this. Don't get married. Ellie is your daughter. Full stop. And if anyone. ANYONE says she isn't your real daughter or mentions true blood or real blood again, go NC with them.
    via u/Far-Sink-2204
  • 22
    Ellie has already been thorough enough. It's time for Mama Bear mode.
    via u/Far-Sink-2204
  • 23
    Matt Daveys 4 days ago If your fiancé actual plans on being your daughter's dad then he needs to majorly step up. YWBTA if you marry this man without him first dealing with his wicked mother.
    via u/MattDaveys
  • 24
    RNGinx3 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago NTA. Remind MIL that she is not your blood, either: She is the family you are choosing, just like your daughter. Fiance needs to be firmly on your side and
    via u/RNGinx3
  • 25
    nip this in the bud. Otherwise, never have a child with him as his family will be insufferable. Or, do not marry him (you deserve better, and so does your daughter).
    via u/RNGinx3
  • 26
    reeserdog 4 days ago NTA. Don't marry into this family unless your fiancé is willing to tell his mother that if she makes one more negative comment about his daughter you
    via u/reeserdog
  • 27
    are going NC. Be very careful. Your fiancé was raised by this woman. Make very sure he can truly love your daughter as his own. Ask him will that change if you have biological children. There are massive red flags here.
    via u/reeserdog

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